Adjust You Must

Someone, I forgot who, said something like "the only constant thing in life is change". I usually hate all these words of wisdom, preferring the more direct and corny song lyrics (hence the reason I cannot remember the guy's name I suppose), but in this case it definitely proves to be true. I have been doing a lot of thinking over the long weekend, what with Joe wheezing into town for one day and going back to Chicago, Ann's wedding, Jip's weekend visit, and the obvious one, R's departure to Cape Town for two weeks - all these things affect me. I am glad for the visits, and I am sad for the departures, I am happy for Ann (she was gorgeous at the reception, and yes, I bought this pewter fruit bowl inspired by the V&A collection as a gift, if you are wondering. No not the typical shiny type, but one made to look antique) . I digressed, but what I wanted to say was, they affect me, and I guess more so in my current situation. I feel lopsided, I feel limp, too many movements, too many changes. And imagine when he is gone for 3 years ( which is equal to forever, it seems to me) imagine the hollowness.

But change I must, adjust I should. What else can I do? Whatever change means, I do not know at this point, but I know I must get out of this rut and start doing something. I can't afford to wear black and mourn, nor can I just hide myself in bed and not face the world (God, I will be so pale). I must.

I know through the course of getting there I will chicken out more than once, I will give up a thousand more times, but I need to do that.

Whoever says that life gets better as you get older really doesn't know shit about life. Trust me, I know.

p/s: Ever heard Patti Austin's 'Say You Love Me'? Discovered it by chance, and I love it!